After nearly one month, I'm still getting used to this Motherhood thing. Nursing is a time-consuming and mind-numbing affair, so I'm rarely without my iPhone or iPad for company during these times. Sometimes, at a particularly engrossed moment, my concentration breaks because she moves or makes a noise and I look down at her, only to be mildly startled that I have a baby - my baby at that - sitting on my lap. Suckling on my breast which is miraculously producing life-sustaining milk for her.
And there are times where I catch myself being amused with her baby antics where normally I would be annoyed or at least unmoved. That's when I realise that I am slowly morphing into a Mother.
At other, less distracted times, I look down at Baby K, and it suddenly strikes me that this little being lying on my lap is an actual person. Not just a baby, mind, but a human being who will eventually grow up and have a mind of her own. One day, she will outgrow my lap, outgrow the home, and even outgrow me, to a certain extent (just hopefully not 100%).
Motherhood really isn't something that happens overnight. It sort of grows into you, creeping up to you bit by bit until you come to the realisation that you are now responsible for this little being for many years to come, and will continue to feel responsible for her long after she ceases to require it.
I think (I hope) I will enjoy the role for a while to come.
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