It Was a Long Long Long Long Night (And Day)

Last night was tough. I thought I had it all laid out nicely - she was tired, fell asleep at seven-ish, and we put her in the room where she slept till nine-ish. Then we fed her and put her back to bed, playing her lullabies. At around midnight, we woke her for the last feed of the night, and it was hoped that she would sleep for at least another 3, hopefully 4-5 more hours.

But she woke up at 1.30am. I nursed her and changed her diapers, then nursed her somemore and changed her diapers again (she has a bit of a bug going on right now). One hour later, I put her down and thought: this ought to hold her till at least 4am, if not 5.

I was wrong. She woke up barely an hour later, crying again and screaming at the top of her voice. This time she nursed for only a short while before falling back to sleep. The memory's fuzzy, but I think there was another diaper change at this time for the littlest squirt of poo. By this point in time I was delirious with exhaustion. While she was peaceful, I was making whimpering noises, perspiring though the fan was on at full speed. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH BABY K AND WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME SLEEP??? I was totally fine waking up a couple of times every night to feed her and/or change her diapers, but this was bonkers. At this rate I wouldn't be able to function the next day.

Meanwhile, The Hubbers slept sweetly, oblivous to my pain. At one point I recall throwing my breast pad at him in frustration, upset that I had to go through this alone while he slept soundly on. I watched as the breast pad slipped down his tee in sulky rebellion, Sigh. I had to remind myself that this man needed to work the next day, all the while fighting back the urge to kick him.

But he did wake up eventually, when I was giving Baby K her latest diaper change. "Do you need the pacifier?"

"Ok, that might help. Could you help me get it from the steriliser?"

I looked at him. He had lain down and gone back to sleep.

!!!!

"I said go get it for me, not go back to sleep." I thought he wouldn't hear me, but it worked. Moments later he stirred, and left the room to get me the pacifier. (Which was left unutilised for the rest of the night, oops.)

He did help me out in something though, which was to swaddle her - he's excellent at swaddling - which enabled us to sleep for another 3 hours (finally!) undisturbed.

Unfortunately, the fitful sleeping was not so much carried over into daytime as it was mutated into complete and utter wakefulness.I had my hands full taking care of her. Basic acts of human sanitation like washing my face and going to the loo became irrelevant. Thankfully, she was kind enough to allow me to finish off my lunch - did I mention that was at 6pm? Minor detail.

At one point in time I was so beat that I carried her into the bedroom and told her "Mummy's going to get some rest." And crashed. Surprisingly, she just lay there and entertained herself for a good 40 minutes. Exceedingly kind of her. Honestly though, that nap was just what I needed to give her her bath, have the resolve to get her to sleep, and get some much needed chores done.

Will she continue her kindness towards me tonight? I sure hope so. I really do.

It All Looked Pretty Good in My Head

Motherhood is tough, man. Especially when you're going it alone most of the day.

When I set up this blog, I had envisioned I would be so bored at home, I'd be updating every day, or even several times a day, but I did not expect to be so caught up with taking care of Baby K I just haven't found the time or energy to do so.

Wanted to write about my confinement experience - that's three weeks gone now - and the first time Guinness met Baby K - that was more than two weeks ago - or even the day I moved back home from mum's, about a week and a half ago.

That said, however, I am enjoying the process of watching Baby K grow day by day - never thought I had a maternal side in me but surprisingly, I have been patient with her where normally I would have thrown up my hands in despair/frustration. And it's true, what they say about falling in love with your child. It reminds me almost of my feelings towards Guinness when he was still a puppy - being away from her makes me think about and worry about her, and holding her in my arms just brings such joy and contentment. It's weird, really. In so many ways having a dog is like a rehearsal for having a baby. Heh.